it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
