I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
