I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
