Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He has the fingertips of a God
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