There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
