I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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