Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
