Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i'm inner monologue high
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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