Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
