i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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