butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
