I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize