The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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