i need an iv and a liver transplant
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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