I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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