all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
