I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
