Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I faked an abortion last night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
