Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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