It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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