apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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