What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize