White coat. Heels.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
