youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
