Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
