So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
