Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
