my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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