I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
