im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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