worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
