I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
