every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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