1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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