your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize