a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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