Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
