Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
