gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
