Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize