Apparently you make a good broom.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
