I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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