I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
