Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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