I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
