Already got asked if we're dating
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
