Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
