OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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