She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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