She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
