Pappa wants mamma naked
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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