I wish my penis had an off switch
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Damn victory sex feels great
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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