i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
