Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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