You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
