he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
