She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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