just tell him i said nine months
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
