he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize