We're facebook friends in real life
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
