every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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