Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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