Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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