2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
