thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
