Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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