so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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