This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
