This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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